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Illustration of Hybrid Beasts and Imaginary Creatures (by...

Fri, 17 May 2013 13:45:53 -0400

Illustration of Hybrid Beasts and Imaginary Creatures (by Imarginal)

CRABBY

Fri, 17 May 2013 13:17:36 -0400

THINGS THAT MAKE ME CRABBY

Tangled Necklaces

People who follow a status update/posted photo with “sorry not sorry”

Bad tippers

Getting called into work

Being one ingredient short of the perfect sandwich

People who don’t say “thank you”

Pushy and impatient people

WHY NONE OF THIS REALLY MATTERS:

Because I am not the center of the universe.

How do you fold a quilt?

Fri, 26 Apr 2013 17:02:16 -0400

You call your Mother. And if you can’t call your Mother you go to the store, buy a plant and take extremely good care of it.

MOPPED

Fri, 26 Apr 2013 16:42:14 -0400

I am afraid to talk to you

because my hair grows too fast

and I worry you will forget my birthday

I am nervous to kiss you

because my teeth are all adult

and I sleep in too late

I am shakey to lay next to you

because I failed algebra

and I don’t always do the dishes

I am excited to see you

because your hair is like a birthday party

and I want to tell you everything I know

I am expecting a parcel

because I have been very patient

and I am ready to feel what an ocean is

I am framing a picture

because certain animals are extinct

and I want to memorize everything that just happened

I am folding a blanket

because I need you to bring me flowers

and the floors are all mopped and animals fed

TIN HOUSE

Fri, 26 Apr 2013 16:31:00 -0400

Your watch was on backwards

and birds made nests

in your sisters backyard

You brushed my teeth

and i tried not to drool

when my hands fold

they are saying they are hungry, too

that every plant has a purpose

and children need not forgiveness

How do I explain to you

the sickening feeling of exposure

the crooked way a person can

take your hair and wrap it

into a bun that will teach you

to always apologize

In winter ice can be

as simple as breakfast

and the doors all open for you

because you’re made that way

I want a tin house

with tiny bells on each door

a garden where my feet can rest

and a hummingbird feeder

to remind me to eat

To watch the sun make sense

of all the clothes on a line

and bumblebees to make

bouquets for all the times

I forgot to be kind to you

Watch a movie

play cards

make love

skin your knee

and learn the alphabet

I have waited my entire life

finish that song.

TURTLE

Wed, 24 Apr 2013 16:15:00 -0400

When we were 13 your dog befriended a turtle we found. I watched you hold it’s tiny shell, your hands were young. Immaculate. Like nothing had ever happened to them. Like you had never carried anything beyond your ability.

He turned the light off and I could hear his socks press on the oak floor. Creaking towards a bed we shared. “he isn’t going to leave me here?” I wondered in my sleep. The night before we had laid, side by side, in grass that had a few memories of dampness from sprinklers that were set to go off each night at 6:20 pm. His bones lay flat in his body and my arms stretched out over my head. To kiss him was like starting a new book you knew you were going to disappear into. Excited for all of the things that were going to happen to you in the time it took to read that book, you waited for every feeling to come out. And it did. And it would continue to for years.

We sat in the kitchen and our toes crept up to one another’s while we fidgeted with papers and mugs and pens. We were happy but we didn’t totally realize it. There is a way a person can love you that covers the entire surface of your spirit, so deeply and so freely that it begins to feel like part of you, and only in it’s absence do you realize how much you had.

How do you teach a person to love you? Is it by tracing yourself over them? Is it by baking them foods you used to love? Is it by getting good rest & taking baths? Is it by learning sciences and practicing grammar? Is it by singing songs your Grandpa knows by heart? Is it by blinking twice more than you normally do? Is it by listening when they don’t expect it? Is it by crying when your eyes feel too dry? Is it by taking naps and stretching perfectly? Is it by cleaning your room?

How long does it take to know somebody? How many misspoken sentences and missed alarm clocks does it take before I can actually see you? At what point am I certain of the lines in the corner of your eyes and have memorized what each of your birthday parties were like as a boy? I am afraid to hurt things. I have a heaviness inside myself that I bare at all times. A cement block of concern. I would never like to leave someone worse than when I found them. And I never want to leave someone with less than what I came with. I never want you to feel ashamed or ugly in front of me. If I were a mirror I would only show you your tender parts. If I were a watch I would only remind you of all you’ve accomplished. If I were a calendar I would make them all holidays.

The turtle lived for a decade. Each winter burrowing into bark and dry dirt. Waiting for the time it was allowed to exist again. And each spring we would see him slowly crossing the cement. Past a piled up garden hose, a watering can and a lawn chair with frayed edges. It became part of us. This process helped us understand when summer was about to reveal itself and when Christmas was not too far away.

CHAPSTICK

Mon, 15 Apr 2013 04:09:12 -0400

In all of her life she had never seen an orange that shape. Nestled in layers of fruit that made every bit of sense, she found her hands touching each orange. Her hair wasn’t the color it should be, or was, or would one day be. She missed all of the friends she never had. Missed a mother who knew her favorite story and a sister who could braid her hair just right. As simple as setting an alarm, she chose the perfect orange.

He, of course, did not return her call. What a strange and lazy life to live- to simply set each component aside and wait in line at the bank. How simple that must feel to neatly scrub your face, fold your towel and sleep 8.75 hours. A world she would never be part of and one, of course, she detested, she still found herself make believing she was like that, too. But not even the crickets in her backyard believed that.

The dog had dreams all night. She wondered what a dogs dream was like. Did they dream of falling, too? Did they remember their dreams? They make toothbrushes for dogs, you know? They cost more than one would expect and its difficult to believe they serve a purpose. Though its fair to assume canine dental health is of significance. Dog dentists. Maybe that’s what she’d become- a dog dentist.

She always put chapstick on right before bed.

BOOBIES

Thu, 04 Apr 2013 21:02:00 -0400

The people sitting next to me are talking about Cabo. I don’t really understand where Cabo is. In fact, I don’t really understand what it is but I think It’s a city. They’re talking about going on cruises. This man seems to have been on multiple cruises. He’s now talking about California. “For $180 roundtrip it’s a great deal” he tells his company.

I don’t believe that it’s $180. The woman he is with hasn’t had much of a chance to speak but I’m not completely convinced she has much to say.

Now he is asking about her dad. “What does he do?” He sounds most sincere right now. I think he genuinely cares about what her dad does. She seems stressed explaining what her dad does and now she’s shuffling through her phone to show the man a picture. Is it a picture of her dad? Is she googling “best dad jobs” to impress him? Hes a contractor. That’s what she said. Now hes talking about his friend who does “cool kitchens and bathrooms”.

I don’t really get along with many people. Which is odd, because I genuinely love everyone. But I don’t really want to have lunch with most people. I guess I prefer to be alone. I used to think I wanted to be alone because I was too scared to be around someone but I don’t think that’s true. At least, not anymore.

You know those “BOOBIES” bracelets that mostly only bros wear? I hate those things. Ill never understand how wearing a wristband you got at Walgreens is advancing the cure for cancer. I think it’s like the modern day puka shell necklace. No one should wear them, but, they do, in abundance.

I wanna get really tan this summer. But like safe tan. I just have this image of me sitting in the grass with brown sugar skin and a really nice floppy hat. Ima’ work on making all this happen. I have a few months to prepare.

That guys now drinking his iced coffee really psychotically. Every time he sucks from the straw he makes a terrible face. He scrunches his nose and puckers his lips and then shakes the ice around in the cup. This woman’s really forgiving to not look annoyed.

I’m about to smoke and I have a feeling they’re going to be really offended by this.

Hmm they don’t seem to care.

He’s talking about squats now. She is fumbling through her phone. She looks annoyed now. The ice shaking didn’t do it but the squat talk did. Thank god. She has a backbone.

I’m glad this guy CAPS LOCKs the most important parts of...

Sat, 30 Mar 2013 18:35:28 -0400

I’m glad this guy CAPS LOCKs the most important parts of his Bed Buddy™ review. Totes trust.

CHOICES

Sat, 30 Mar 2013 18:24:30 -0400

I saw a guy holding a bouquet of ranunculus and walking towards me while I walked Vern. Considered grabbing them out of his hands and running but realized Vern would be the worst Clide and would probably hold our shit up for too long or worse dance out of his harness and run away forever to live with a weird old woman who makes beaded eyeglass chains.

Choices. Life choices.

BE HAPPY :)

Sat, 30 Mar 2013 18:03:04 -0400

Take the dog to the park

Rewatch your favorite movie

Drink coffee

Eat bananas

Hula Hoop

Read anything

Walk

Make a little pillow

Sing

Nap

Stretch

CORRECTION

Fri, 22 Mar 2013 03:56:34 -0400

My right foot is asleep.

I can hear my neighbors listening to, what I think, is techno music and laughing.

FICTION

Fri, 22 Mar 2013 03:55:51 -0400

$2 bills were made to track sailors spending habits.

FACT

Fri, 22 Mar 2013 03:54:57 -0400

I am afraid of heights.

And of forgetting to lock the door.

Turn off the iron.

Close the gate.

Feed the cat.

FICTION

Fri, 22 Mar 2013 03:53:44 -0400

You cannot play a harmonica under water.

FACT

Fri, 22 Mar 2013 03:53:18 -0400

Every person I’ve ever had a conversation with I have briefly fallen in love with.

MARKETS

Fri, 22 Mar 2013 03:51:35 -0400

She whistled a song she had heard only once. She vaguely remembered the chorus. Many months had gone by since she had talked to him. Sometimes that made her brain sleep better and at other times it made her feel humiliated and lousy.

One time she stole a pen from a travel agency. She was there to look at an apartment for rent. The realtor was also apparently a travel agent. He was not impressed with her credit. However, he did seem somewhat impressed with her penmenship and agreed to show her an apartment a few blocks down the street next to a seafood market.

She wondered if she would always be so indecisive. If she would ever find love. If her life would ever go in a direction she could trace and predict. I guess all the same stuff everyone else tossles their brains over. She didn’t feel special and yet she didn’t exactly feel insignificant. She just wanted something to read. To look at. To learn. To feel. To memorize. To toil over. To regret. To miss.

She had tremendously poor social skills.

I WOULD LIKE

Fri, 22 Mar 2013 03:27:11 -0400

THINGS I WOULD LIKE:

A lifetime supply of homestyle popsecret microwavable popcorn.

To visit Hawaii

A place to rest my hat

A new tape recorder with handle

A pair of Jelly shoes in ruby red sparkle with a little heel

To be confident I spelled “heel” correctly

THIS AND///////////THAT

Fri, 22 Mar 2013 03:11:19 -0400

and all we’ve ever wanted was a glass to pour our water in. A hill to climb up top of. A hand to touch our hair and a mouth to kiss our ribs.

We are all walking through our pillowcases & practicing our autograph.

And all I can do is take a nap. Wake up and feel all that salt in the air and dig my feet into sand I’ve felt many years ago.

What a lonely miserable beautiful magical place to be.

It can be this- or it can be that.

APRONS

Wed, 13 Mar 2013 00:53:01 -0400

Today I had the option of buying a solid black apron or a crazy floral frilly pocketed apron. At first I wanted to be the type of person who wears a solid black apron but after thinking it over I realized I am totally not the type of person who wears a solid black apron. Those women smell like mint and wake up at 7am every morning. They have visited Amsterdam and studied abroad. They have art degrees and really well behaved dogs. No, I am a crazy floral frilly pocket apron type of person. The type of person who drinks so much coffee I get nervous, was raised by a mailman and a postal clerk, who acts really bossy but loves things more than can be expressed in words. And maybe, for the first time ever, I think that’s pretty boss. Totally gonna stop even looking at solid black aprons from now on. Straight to floral.