May 2013
3 posts
UNFLATTERING
Google is the worst thing to happen to self esteem since Seventeen magazine. The irresistible urge to know any and all details of someone you are curious about usually comes at 2:30 in the morning when you’ve given up the dream of having well rested skin in the morning and a less than totally psychotic mind. According to my history my most common searches include things like:
“best drugstore...
CRABBY
THINGS THAT MAKE ME CRABBY
Tangled Necklaces
People who follow a status update/posted photo with “sorry not sorry”
Bad tippers
Getting called into work
Being one ingredient short of the perfect sandwich
People who don’t say “thank you”
Pushy and impatient people
WHY NONE OF THIS REALLY MATTERS:
Because I am not the center of the universe.
April 2013
6 posts
Anonymous asked: How do you fold a quilt?
MOPPED
I am afraid to talk to you
because my hair grows too fast
and I worry you will forget my birthday
I am nervous to kiss you
because my teeth are all adult
and I sleep in too late
I am shakey to lay next to you
because I failed algebra
and I don’t always do the dishes
I am excited to see you
because your hair is like a birthday party
and I want to tell you everything I know
I...
TIN HOUSE
Your watch was on backwards
and birds made nests
in your sisters backyard
You brushed my teeth
and i tried not to drool
when my hands fold
they are saying they are hungry, too
that every plant has a purpose
and children need not forgiveness
How do I explain to you
the sickening feeling of exposure
the crooked way a person can
take your hair and wrap it
into a bun that will teach you
...
TURTLE
When we were 13 your dog befriended a turtle we found. I watched you hold it’s tiny shell, your hands were young. Immaculate. Like nothing had ever happened to them. Like you had never carried anything beyond your ability.
He turned the light off and I could hear his socks press on the oak floor. Creaking towards a bed we shared. “he isn’t going to leave me here?” I wondered in my sleep. ...
CHAPSTICK
In all of her life she had never seen an orange that shape. Nestled in layers of fruit that made every bit of sense, she found her hands touching each orange. Her hair wasn’t the color it should be, or was, or would one day be. She missed all of the friends she never had. Missed a mother who knew her favorite story and a sister who could braid her hair just right. As simple as setting...
1 tag
BOOBIES
The people sitting next to me are talking about Cabo. I don’t really understand where Cabo is. In fact, I don’t really understand what it is but I think It’s a city. They’re talking about going on cruises. This man seems to have been on multiple cruises. He’s now talking about California. “For $180 roundtrip it’s a great deal” he tells his company.
I don’t believe that it’s $180. The...
March 2013
12 posts
CHOICES
I saw a guy holding a bouquet of ranunculus and walking towards me while I walked Vern. Considered grabbing them out of his hands and running but realized Vern would be the worst Clide and would probably hold our shit up for too long or worse dance out of his harness and run away forever to live with a weird old woman who makes beaded eyeglass chains.
Choices. Life choices.
BE HAPPY :)
Take the dog to the park
Rewatch your favorite movie
Drink coffee
Eat bananas
Hula Hoop
Read anything
Walk
Make a little pillow
Sing
Nap
Stretch
CORRECTION
My right foot is asleep.
I can hear my neighbors listening to, what I think, is techno music and laughing.
FICTION
$2 bills were made to track sailors spending habits.
FACT
I am afraid of heights.
And of forgetting to lock the door.
Turn off the iron.
Close the gate.
Feed the cat.
FICTION
You cannot play a harmonica under water.
FACT
Every person I’ve ever had a conversation with I have briefly fallen in love with.
MARKETS
She whistled a song she had heard only once. She vaguely remembered the chorus. Many months had gone by since she had talked to him. Sometimes that made her brain sleep better and at other times it made her feel humiliated and lousy.
One time she stole a pen from a travel agency. She was there to look at an apartment for rent. The realtor was also apparently a travel agent. He was not...
I WOULD LIKE
THINGS I WOULD LIKE:
A lifetime supply of homestyle popsecret microwavable popcorn.
To visit Hawaii
A place to rest my hat
A new tape recorder with handle
A pair of Jelly shoes in ruby red sparkle with a little heel
To be confident I spelled “heel” correctly
THIS AND///////////THAT
and all we’ve ever wanted was a glass to pour our water in. A hill to climb up top of. A hand to touch our hair and a mouth to kiss our ribs.
We are all walking through our pillowcases & practicing our autograph.
And all I can do is take a nap. Wake up and feel all that salt in the air and dig my feet into sand I’ve felt many years ago.
What a lonely miserable beautiful...
APRONS
Today I had the option of buying a solid black apron or a crazy floral frilly pocketed apron. At first I wanted to be the type of person who wears a solid black apron but after thinking it over I realized I am totally not the type of person who wears a solid black apron. Those women smell like mint and wake up at 7am every morning. They have visited Amsterdam and studied abroad. They have art...
February 2013
1 post
POODLES
When I was a girl I would orchestrate impossible endeavors. Save the ants campaign! Whirling in my mind how difficult it would be to try to prevent the human race from squashing ants in their backyard, or on their way to work. Then one time I convinced myself the red berries on the bush in my backyard were raspberries and I told all the neighborhood kids my family came from a long line of...
January 2013
5 posts
You do not exist.
coketalk:
At any given moment, you do not exist. Your body exists, temporary though it may be. Still, you are not your body. You are merely an electrochemical process of your body. The continuity of your separate self is manufactured every few milliseconds by a hunk of warm grey meat between your ears. In the time it takes you to read this sentence, your brain has created you a thousand times,...
GHOSTS
All my friends are ghosts. And I don’t recognize myself with my hair down.
Took two baths in one day.
I won’t skip breakfast.
Everyone is at a party.
I’m drawing in the kitchen.
Pretending I know how to fix a sink.
COLD EARS & I AM NOT A PLAGIARIST (but I did have...
When your ears are cold. They may as well be a scrap of cardboard. Stiff and obstinate. Useful but unlikable. Losing friends. Being disliked.
To carry the responsibility of everyone else’s emotions is a curse that will poison any bright spot in yourself. And still, so many of us devote a majority of our energy to trying to sustain the world at large. Being unliked sucks. There is no...
Anonymous asked: SEVEN REASONS YOU SHOULD REACH OUT TO EVERY PERSON EVER - can you please explain to me why you take credit for the zooey deschanel quote on number 7.. to people who do not know it is by her.. it can be very misleading. and i hope i am not coming off as a meanjean but i'm mildly offended at the plagorism..
December 2012
1 post
I AM FLAWED
The most compelling part of love is that it penetrates all of our surface identities. It speaks to the parts of ourselves that cannot be obviously seen or understood. It whispers to our bones and sings to our heart. And when love is truly given selflessly it changes who we are as people.
Love is not an easy emotion. It is complicated and woven with difficulties and fears. It has shadows...
November 2012
2 posts
ALIENS
I hid under the baskets
And I knew exactly how to be like you
And we were a million times bigger
Than we are now
Or then
You sat on the cold linoleum with me
head hung over a porcelain bowl
And comforted me
It is in those moments
That love exists
I am lucky
I am lucky
And I took my socks off
And felt all the life
Scattered on the floor
Like tiny rocks and sand
And wiped them...
I'VE BEEN GONE BECAUSE I'VE BEEN WORKING ON... →
October 2012
6 posts
ANYTHING BUT
It made sense, too. I guess. I mean, it made sense in the same way spending money to make money makes sense. It made sense in the same way buying identify fraud protection makes sense. It made sense like wearing a sweater inside because the AC is too high makes sense.
Unimaginative poison. Gloomy shadows and tired eyes. I don’t like sweet perfume. But i love arnold palmers.
How...
MONTH-TO-MONTH
I don’t know the color
of my hair any
more
My hands are more like
hers than his
but my nose widens
every time I blow out my
birthday candles
water in empty buckets
cats napping
dry flowers
and calendars
SPACE
Lovely birds and cats,
I haven’t forgotten about you. I still have bumblebees in my heart. It’s just that I’ve started an all female newspaper in my hometown and have been busy playing shows and organizing the paper. Forgive me. I have the next three days off. I’ll write you letters.
xo,
a
“Something is leaning against the wall. Something is on a horizontal surface that...”
– Lisa Radon, Review
http://www.lisaradon.com/themineking/
(via desireandconsequence)
September 2012
14 posts
APOCALYPSE
According to all redbox movies the apocalypse is full of zombies and mutants that terrorize the streets looking for basic survival needs like food, water and shelter. They’re heavily armed and usually the only two people left on planet earth happen to be unreasonably attractice, young and romantically involved.
Let me give ya a little look at what the apocalypse looks like to...
IF I HAD A NICKEL FOR EVERY TIME....
I forgot to buyoneingredient for dinner.
I set a glass of water next to my bed assuring myself that I wouldn’t knock it over first thing in the morning and then proceeded to knock it over first thing in the morning.
I got unreasonably crabby while detangling a necklace chain.
I spent my last dime on a new dress with a whole week until my next paycheck.
Dropped my phone in the toilet.
...
MILK
I’m thinking of a number between one and fifty.
I can’t swim backwards.
I forgot how to spell.
Pigeons are regal.
Your phone calls are like spilled milk.
I wish I could cook you dinner.
I don’t smile anymore.
I’m happier than you.
I watched four movies.
I called in sick to work.
I parked without paying.
I wish I had a tent.
Write me more often.
I love you very...
ELEVEN MORE
“I tried to count your eyelashes last night.”
“I always imagined eyelashes as being exactly even on each side”
“Not so”
“Well then how many?”
“24 on the left. I got to 19 on the right but then the kettle whistled so I had to stop”
“were there a lot more to count?”
“yes. I’d guess 11 more”
If you...
LITTLES
A small hand and a giant sink of water. Clean sheets and a very small bouquet. I remember those moments like little holidays. Ice cream sandwiches and bathing suits. Your hair pulled back into a pony tail and you knew nothing about being lonely. The fine lines that surround the corners of your eyes now. Evidence of years of smiling. Your car broke down so you took a ride from someone you...
WHY I'M NOT OBLIGATED TO FLATTER YOU
MAN AT BAR: Let me buy you a drink
ME: No thank you. I appreciate the gesture.
MAN AT BAR: What are you too good?
Actual me answer: No, not at all.
MAN AT BAR: Okay, whatever.
What I should have said: Actually yes. And the only reason I am too good is because I have half a brain and realize there is no such thing as a free drink. And maybe I just don’t want my night to be interrupted...
“Plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone...”
– Veronica A. Shoffstall, “After a While,” 1971 (via killheji)
FEELINGS THAT NEVER GET OLD
Laughing so hard you cry
The first moment you get into a warm bath
Unpinning your hair after working all day
Misting your face with tea tree rose water
A first kiss
A one thousandth kiss
Matching your liquid eyeliner perfectly to the other eye
A cat purring loudly next to you as you fall asleep
Taking your boots off after walking around
Putting an outfit on for the first time
Freshly...
SHOES
I’ve felt your hand and I have been very thirsty for water after a long nap. Dogs barking like choruses and I am still such a child. Smushing cakes and laughing. I am not as simple as that darkness can make me feel. Tie my shoe. That’s how I know you love me.
